| ;my first spoken word poetry |
[Mar. 25th, 2011|01:11 am] |
| [ | So |
| |  apathetic | ] |
Ok well so it's been some time since i wrote and recently i was quite inspired by spoken word poetry.Watching the poets doing their slams i was like hey i wanna do that too.Sooo here we go~
I have always wanted to want something.
That something I'm unsure of,or do I?
See I want to be loved,to have someone to love.
That someone special whom I can into her embrace,patting my head,
kissing my forehead.
In return I would definitely want to love her back.
But what in the world could a naive teenager do to bring satisfaction to
someone who has had her rough patches?
Someone who has seen through life.
I know I am very naive but I don't care.
I wish I could just use some of my naiveness to bring her happiness.
Just to make her smile,to make her day.
To bring her away from the seriousness and the stress that the world has given to her.
I too want to rid of what the world has given to me,
even if it's for awhile.
I'm not saying that I am trying to run away from what's coming for me,
more of going for a retreat.
And after wards I want to
come back and come back strong-because I have loved and been loved.
It's taboo,unforbidden love.
Yet,I have heard of real stories-real stories of my fantasies.
Having an older woman love you and to love an older woman.
All I wanted was to have an authority to control this vessel of raging hormones.
Someone who would dote,hold me close to her well endowed chests,
feeling the warmth us.
When she wants some pampering then it'll be her turn to lie on my chest.
Brush her hair,give her a massage,rub her feet,
I'd do anything for her just don't let it turn into a domitrix and pet/slave relationship.
She might get annoyed by me and my naiveness.
She might just have an outbreak talking about reality and I should grow up.
What I'm going to do is just keep quiet and let her finish.
When she's done I'm gonna pull her close to me,
hug her tightly and tell her,"I'm sorry I know I'm not good enough.Everyone has worries and despite me not being good enough,I want to be here for you."
But then again I am just a small individual,with an age that is considered as taboo,
and a face that only makes that number worse.
No I do not know what reaction will come from her and no I do not want to continue fantasizing.
It's sad.
Just so sad.
Too sad for a happy girl like me.
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| ;haunting whispers |
[Mar. 1st, 2011|01:08 am] |
| [ | So |
| |  ditzy | ] |
You were just another unknown face,getting to know me,
and me getting to know you.
Good things was not what I heard of you,and no you didn't catch my attention.
Loud banging music,sweaty bodies,stench of alcohol.
I'm high on dancing,but I don't know about you.
Moving along with other hot and sweaty bodies,your body meets mine.
Your arms were sticky and cool,brushing against mine.
As soon as we realised what was going on,we were brushing up against each other.
You held me closer,pulling me to your chest.
I could feel your warm breath,your hands exploring on their own.
Nudging your knee on my sensitivity,saying that you like it.
Even in the drowning music you managed to whisper those words in my ear.
It was soft,subtle,seductive.
But it replays loud and clear in my mind.
The touch of your hands can still be felt on my back.
It turns me on.
My first time,
my first lust at first touch.
We didn't have any kind of connection but we were connected in that moment.
Connected by our sticky bodies,loud banging music,
and your haunting seductive whispers.
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| ;longing |
[Jan. 23rd, 2011|02:03 am] |
With my eyes closed I feel her coming up to me.
Her warm body on mine,with that sweet scent of her hair that lingers around us.
Comfortably she places herself on top of me,now breathing slowly and giving me soft kisses on my neck.
She loves to make me chuckle with the sudden licks and gentle bites.
I held her close as I placed my hands on her bare back.
I feel her breath on my cheek now,her soft lips slowly moving to my quivering lips.
My tummy starts feeling all fuzzy and warm that I never want to let her go.
I soon felt her hands exploring around my body.
It's as if she's in my head,placing her hands where I want them the most.
I tried to laugh because it's ticklish but instead I let out a soft moan.
She heard the now louder moans as her hands work their magic.
She snickered and whispered softly into my ear.
"I want you",she said.
Intoxicated by her warm breaths and the touch of her fingers,I was paralysed under her command.
I surrendered myself to her. I would give my all to her.
To be feeling all warm and feeling like something is about to burst out of me.
Holding her close. Am I too young to be having thoughts like these?
In this young and naive mind these thoughts are the very thoughts that I long for. Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| 2011 |
[Jan. 9th, 2011|10:06 pm] |
Ok so I'm not sure if I have posted anything this year soo yea.
To be honest I've been kinda lazy to update my blog now cos I've got no com. And I don't have any inspiration to write,like seriously I feel flies flying inside my head.
This is bad cosssss I news to get together a portfolio for my course interview!
I hope I can even get into the interview.And yes results not out yet but you know it's better to get ready for the worst.
And I don't know why but I get annoyed when people keep on saying or rather whining that they're scared.Or maybe it's just the way the person talks that I'm annoyed by.
Soo anyways,there's nothing to be scared about.We've done what we've could and now we can only hope for the best.
And I'm not gonna stop at where I am,I'm gonna work out my way out of the stereotypical social circle. Ok so to end this,I'm still not ready to talk to that person about the secret crush that I'm having.It might well just be a small crush(that grew big) but I'll get over it.
I don't even really KNOW her but I do wish to get to know her more and better.
Most importantly,I don't want to lose her as a friend.I like her as my friend but cos of this crush sometimes I feel small and that I'm not good enough.Oh well anyways I'll just enjoy whatever I have now :) I feel so much better :)))) Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| ;snowy rain |
[Dec. 26th, 2010|12:28 am] |
| [ | So |
| | apathetic | ] |
Why hello there,it's been sometime huh?
I've been wanting to update but too lazy.And when I've finally got the Mac I'm too into other
stuff.Sighs I wonder when I'll get the Mac all to myself.But it's alright cos at least I still my iPood.
I've thought a lot about things again but I've been thinking too much about I don't know what until I've forgotten what I was even thinking about in the first place.
I'm going through that phase again.That girl crush phase.YES WHAT'S NEW RIGHT?
Geez it always happens but it dosent always happen.
It's like you feel like you're crushing on anyone that comes your way,but in actual fact
that crushing starts when you start connecting with that person who comes your way.
But isnt it just me to have connections with people?
Most of the time it's kinda easy to go along with the crowd.
But then there are times where you find that its just hard to connect with a particular person.
By tomorrow I'll be writing an apology to myself for writing such stoopid stuff on here but hey its a channel.I need a channel to get it out and somtimes I find it hard to tell things like this to people.
Its like running around in my head trying to find an exit sign,POOF it vanishes like a mirage.
I don't know why I'm feeling like this.It ain't a choice,well maybe it is,but it just happens!SHIT HAPPENS MAN!
But as always,I'll get through it.I'll get over you hun don't worry!
As much as I hate to say this,don't stop doing what you're doing.
Anyways....I'm not working anymore for now..I think I'll take a break and spend time rotting at home while I wait for my ketchup dates later on.And results are like gonna come out so yea,I don't really know if I like should get a job.
And omg I'm even using words that she uses,well word actually.nyahahaa.
Ok as much as I would like to ramble on with my hormonal rampage,I'll stop here for today.
I'm gonna be fine *pinkie promises myself*
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2010|11:32 pm] |
Why helloo soo my iPods back in action but I'm missing a lot of stuff.but it's alright immature get it back bitchh!
From this I actually learnt and make myself realize that I can't let go of things easily.I find it so hard to adapt to change but I try so hard.
Didn't talk to her today and didnt really thought about it,till NOW.
I kept thinking of when I'll meet a suga mama.I seriously don't care what people say,it's just me.I'm just cray cray but I'll be even more cray cray if I think about her.
I'll meet someone oneday,for sure.
Tsk!why soo mushy! Bleargh
Ok I'm tired now blog again soon~hahaha Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| ;*CRYING* |
[Nov. 29th, 2010|10:57 pm] |
| [ | So |
| |  depressed | ] |
I am seriously crying right now.My ipod is like on recovery mode and I cant restore it cos apparently the stoopid thing cant connect and dunnoe what shit la.
But then again,theres a part of me thats like saying stop complaining.
Is this what they call,growing up?Having that part of you saying that its no use complaining,
i just have to make do with the situation.
This is a perfect example of taking things for granted.
My ipod's like my everything.
And I'm starting my job tomorrow.I need my music to calm down and be a happy person and throw all my other thoughts away.
Most of all,I need to talk to Her.
I have to stop being so urghhh!I don't know you know,I just hate myself.
Soo anyways,i do have something to surf the net with but then again its just surfing and I cant even youtube man.the video like lags and my bro's going off to KL which means no mac for me.
And I think I should let everything out here and now.I just need to clear my mind.
ok so the kid in me wants to talk to her so much and tell her everything.
the teenage girl in me is like saying lets jusst be honest and just go out with it.
the growing up part of me is like dont risk it ya know?dont risk the oh kinda wonderful friendship that we have.
Its like i wanna tell her just oh how much i like her.But now i think about it,i guess we are just not meant to be.Even the horoscopes(didnt read it on purpose k!)didnt approve of our signs being together!WAIT I believe in that shit?But anyways here are some stoopid irrelevant reasons why i want but cant tell her.Its not as if she reads my blog anyways muahahahaha.ok i shall stop teh evil laughter.
1.Shes oh so far away
2.im not her type.
3.shes oh so far away.
4.I crush too much.
5.wtf is love?
YAAA ok so i'll come back after i solve the problem with my ipod.goodbye.sayonara.anyeong.adios.au revoir.Selamat jalan.
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| 11:11 |
[Nov. 25th, 2010|11:23 pm] |
Yea I know it's already past 11:11 and I dont believe in all that shit but but but,I became a really happy girl when I saw that it was 11:11.
Well I know it might just well be another empty promise but at least I have something to like hold on to.
I'll take this chance to learn to control my feelings,I can't let it affect all of me.Ok maybe for now a little part of me,where You'llalways be.
Like I said,I don't want to like anyone anymore.I crush a lot,but sometimes I can't tell the difference between that school girl crush or that I really really like you kinda thing.
I mean I can but I can't I can't but I can't.oook another idea,I shall find episodes of LITTLE BRITAIN!love that show.
Teeheehee k high can't sleep alreh.Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| ;period time! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2010|10:21 pm] |
Ok is it just me or I'm sweating like anything here..the weathers cool but I'm feelin so hottt.Maybe cos of my period.I don't think this would be happening if I was in OSAKA right noww..but it's alright,Ive experienced it once and I'm sure I'll get to go there again sometime.Yay I'm so grown up about it and I'm really happy for my juniors who are having fun there!:D
Ok so here comes the immature part;how to go when I got no money?No one like wants to hire me luh wth..is it cos I look like a kid?ugh how shallow people can be.
But,I shall not stop tryinggg!
Oh and while rotting at home I suddenly remembered KONAPUN!I think it's awesome but such a waste..I mean it rots!
Soo from this I actually got an idea for a story~
haha I'm gonna call it;Konapun and me.
And shit I forgot all about it now cos I was caught up with the movie Ghost town and it kinda scares the bejeezers out of me eek~!Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| ;filled with rantings annoyance and more annoyance |
[Nov. 15th, 2010|09:58 am] |
Hi it can't be that my periods coming right?I feel lonely and angry and sad.
I'm angry with everyone and anyone.I don't know why.
I'm complaining and I complain too much.
Selfish.
I just want some time alone.
But I don't wanna be lonely.
I keep contradicting myself cos
I don't know and I'm scared and lazy to make decisions.
Fuck.Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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